Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
