Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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