I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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