I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Damn victory sex feels great
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
