I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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