i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
