And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
