So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So much rum. So many feels.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
