dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
