once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
