I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
