i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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