did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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