she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
