I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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