This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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