yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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