seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
