think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need moral support for this bender
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
