It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
