he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
