I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize