Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
