I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize