It was confusing and full of hummus
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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