hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
