if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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