dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
try to milk me bitch
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