My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
