every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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