So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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