coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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