Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
