absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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