people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
