i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
