I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
