Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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