If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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