I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
