So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize