We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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