You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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