her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
be right there i have to get my cape
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
