We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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