if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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