I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Come see our sink grown plant.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
