My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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