I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize