I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
