I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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