C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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