I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
