Say something about gay babies.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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