So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
