Kiss
Puke
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
