No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
