Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How much have you had to drink?
That seems like quite a lot.