If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.