i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
