yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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