My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
