I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
