Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
