who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
NoShamevember. You game?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
