I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize