So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
