Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
